


Purgatory

by Kitchenator



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 04:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11119689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitchenator/pseuds/Kitchenator
Summary: How do you recover from being in Purgatory?  With the help from an angel.





	Purgatory

The nightmare still plagued you.

It had been so cold, so desolate, and you had thought that there would be no end to the running, no end to the growls and yelps of the hunt behind you, that you would die here and no one would ever find you.

No Dean.

No Cas.

Just you.

You fought just like the rest of them. Just as tired. Just as desperate. Just as eager for the thrill of the hunt.

And it terrified you.

It had felt so long, been so long, that you began to believe that nothing would be able to pull you through this, that you would be lost to this madness forever.

That was until you came crashing hard into a familiar trench coat, firm hands gripping your arms.

"Y/N, what are you still doing here?"

Anger. Fear. Blood. You could smell it all and it made you lash out, footsteps right behind you as you began to fight, more blood soaking your clothes, more flesh sticking to your blade, more adrenaline fueling you to keep moving.

But those hands were there again and this time they weren't giving you a chance to fight.

"Y/N, look at me!"

You blinked, your name sounding unfamiliar, but that ocean of blue before you seemed to draw recognition from you.

Castiel cradled your face between his hands, trying desperately to reach you. "Y/N?"

"Castiel?" Your voice had been so hoarse, so broken, it had felt like so long since you'd used it, but then you were crying, falling into his arms as you sobbed helplessly, fighting desperately away at everything you had fought down to survive.

Castiel held you tight, but you could feel his caution. "We must move. It isn't safe here."

Company. It felt strange after all this time and a part of you was certain that you were losing your mind.

But Castiel helped.

You had a chance to sit, rare, but between the two of you, you had made short work of any threats.

You weren't sure what to say first.

"Dean said you dead."

Your head had snapped up to look at him, only to find his gaze locked on the ground.

"He said you were dead and there was nothing he could do."

"Where is Dean?" You asked, making him sigh.

"He escaped." Castiel said. "He got out."

"How?" Your voice broke as you asked it, the desperation clear, making finally look at you.

That blue was so calming.

"There was a portal, but it's openings are rare." He said. "I...I didn't make it through."

You were on your feet. "We have to find another one."

"Y/N-"

"There's got to be another way!"

"Y/N please," Castiel said quietly. "Even if there was, we have no way of finding it."

"We keep looking then!" You said desperately. "We just keep going until we find a way out and...and..."

His hands were on your cheeks again, those eyes holding yours. "I will get you out of here, I promise, but you need to stay calm."

You blinked. You could always remember that look so clearly. "We will get out of here Cas."

The running, the cold, the ever present, ever growing fear that Castiel was going to disappear on you. It was tiring, but it had been so long now, your feet past hurting, and your hand rarely left his.

If you didn't know better, you would say time had stopped here.

You were wounded, Castiel's arm around your waist as he helped you walk, helped you get away, the leviathans following so close behind.

You were running again, Castiel just behind, both of you with blades in hand.

You both stared up at the glowing light.

"That's it," You breathed. "Cas, this is it. We did it!"

Castiel is silent for a long moment. "Y/N...I cannot go with you."

You remember staring into that ocean of blue. "What are you saying Cas?"

His eyes had been pleading. "I cannot go back. I...I've done too much. You know as well as I do that I deserve to be here."

"That's not true!"

"I could've got you killed!" His voice had raised so suddenly, you actually took a step back. "Do you have any idea what that would have done to me? What it did do me when Dean told me you were dead?"

Your heart hammered and you could still feel it racing now. "Don't you think I've been through the same?"

You both stared at each other for a long time, realising that there were words between you that had never been said.

"Go Y/N." He said firmly.

"No." You returned. "Not without you."

That blue was so mesmerising.

It had happened so quickly, so suddenly, that a part of you was always sure that this was something the dream had made up.

Castiel's lips had crashed hard into yours, his emotions so clear as he held you to him, pouring every single word unsaid between you into the kiss.

You had whimpered, but returned with equal fervor, silently, desperately asking him to not do what he was about to do.

He took your hand in his and led you to that light, refusing to look back at you, even as you squeezed his fingers, pleading.

"I forgive you Castiel." You said quietly, meaning it, but he did not stop.

There was power coming from the light, and for a single moment you thought that he would go with you, pulling you tightly into his arms so he could press his lips against your ear.

"I love you."

You had screamed as he had thrown you thrown you. You had screamed as it closed behind you. Screamed for what felt like hours in the middle of that forest until campers found you, looking half dead, and took you too a hospital.

You were still screaming now.

"Y/N. Y/N! Wake up!"

The slap across your face broke the hold of the dream, kicking you back to reality with a pounding heart, covered in a heavy layer of sweat.

Those ocean eyes stared down at you, filled with concern.

"Castiel?" Your voice was always unsure after these dreams, your mind slowly working to remember the months that followed.

"It's okay," Castiel's voice was soft, gentle. "It's okay Y/N. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

The memory over, reality settling back in, the tears always started, and whether human or angel, Castiel was always quick to pull you into his arms.

"I'm here." He whispered. "I'm not going anywhere, not without you, not ever again."

Your sobs would grow louder, but Castiel would just hold you tighter, putting promise to his words. The two of you would stay like that until you settled. Some nights were bad, to the point it would make you sick, others were bearable and Castiel would gently rock you back to sleep. It was the good nights you both cherished and held onto, where comfort would say more than what the words ever could.

"I love you Castiel." You mumbled against him, feeling yourself drift into an easier sleep.

He kissed the top of your head gently. "I will always love you Y/N. I promise."


End file.
